Why I Never Sleep On the Sofa

These past few months, I’ve been delivering pizzas as a second job. Aside from myself, every delivery driver is a high school or college-aged, single guy.

Every now-and-then, a couple college guys will ask me questions about my wife, our relationship, and what it’s like to be married.

A topic in particular, although posed in a humorous manner, seemed to stand out during our conversation. We were discussing what it was like to fight with your spouse. One had inquired whether my wife and I ever got to the point where we would yell at each other. I answered honestly. He followed up by asking if I ever had to sleep on the sofa.

I shared with them my personal sofa-sleeping philosophy:

I never sleep on the sofa when my wife and I are in the middle of fight. No, it’s not because I want her to sleep on the sofa instead of me.

I choose not sleep on the sofa when my wife and I are fighting because I want to communicate to her and remind myself that, regardless of how I may feel, what words may have been said, or what may have been done by either one of us, we are committed to each for life.

Sometimes, I may have to sit in the living room or go on a walk to cool down before I go to sleep. However, I never let a temporary fight come in between our lifelong commitment to one another.

I also choose to do this because I think it is a tiny shadow of how Jesus loves His people. I am in no way saying that I am always or ever Jesus in this equation.

Rather, I simply see how Jesus chose to love unloveable people and in response to this inconceivable love, I choose to show love to my wife even when it kills me.

As for husbands, love your wives just like Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. He did this to make her holy by washing her in a bath of water with the word.

Ephesians 5:25 & 26, CEB

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